Just close your mouth to lose weight

A jaw-dropping idea to restrict what you eat

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By Mary MacVean

Dieting is onerous and eventually makes you feel like a failure in most cases. But here’s a simple truth: If you cannot eat, you will lose weight.

That idea has been taken to jaw-dropping extremes with a new product I hope will turn out to be some sort of joke. It’s a device that locks your mouth closed with magnets so no solid food can pass through. So I guess not jaw-dropping, since you can’t actually drop your jaw. Jaw-locking extremes?

Those of you who, like me, have dieted long enough and hard enough can instantly see a way to game this method, just like the rest. We will find a way to get calories through a straw. Milkshake anyone? Do not underestimate a determined eater. I know someone who, the story goes, had his jaw wired shut after it was broken and ran fast-food burgers through a blender. Voila!

This latest thing is called the DentalSlim Diet Control, according to the University of Otago’s website. It gets fitted to your upper and lower back teeth. Whew, that’s a relief; no one has to see the evidence you’ve gone over the edge. Of course, the fact that you can only open your mouth about 2 mm (.08 inches) might be a hint. And you will be relieved to hear it does not restrict breathing or talking — giving you…